TOW The Worst Fears
by AshleeStar
Summary: Chandler and Monica's worst fear comes true.
1. TOW The Worst Fears

  
  
This is my first ever fan fic! I hope you enjoy it!  


  
2005  
Los Angeles  


  
Chandler walked into the church and looked around for familiar faces. He couldn't believe his best friend, Joey, was actually getting married. Joey was the last person Chandler ever expected to tie the knot, but he was still happy for him. As Chandler continued to look around, he noticed Monica walk into the church. He takes a deep breath, and as he reminds himself to stay calm, he begins to walk towards her. Monica notices Chandler, and smiles at him once he approaches. There is an awkwardness between them, but Chandler leans in anyway and softly kisses her on the cheek. Monica looks down at her shoes, trying to avoid eye contact with him. He notices this, but decides to talk to her anyway.  


  
"Mon, I didn't know if you would be able to make it. How have you been?" he asks. She looks up at him again, and their eyes meet.  


  
"I'm okay," she pauses, but then continues, "I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls. I just need some time."  


  
Wanting desperately to wrap her up in his arms, or even just touch her hand, Chandler quickly puts his hands in his pockets to be on the safe side. The two continue to stand in silence, as the awkwardness continues. From across the room, Rachel notices her two friends and walks over to them. She can see things are strained, so she quickly hugs and kisses Monica and Chandler.  


  
"You look great, Rach." Monica smiles.  


  
"Thanks, so do you." Rachel replies.   


  
"So, can you believe Joey is actually the next one of us to get married?" Chandler asks, trying to break the tension a bit.  


  
"I know. Phoebe and I were just saying the same thing last night." Rachel agrees.  


  
Chandler and Rachel continue to chat, mostly about Joey and the others, who have yet to arrive. Rachel looks around the church and notices some friends. "I hate to leave, but I just saw someone" - she starts, but is cut off by Chandler.  


  
"It's okay. We'll catch up with you later." Chandler says.  


  
"Great." Rachel smiles. She hugs Monica again, who had remained silent throughout the entire conversation. Once Rachel is out of sight, Chandler decides he has to talk to Monica about the "situation".  


  
"You look really well." He finally says, as he put his hand lightly on her shoulder.  


  
Looking as though she is on the verge of tears, Monica half smiles, and as she points to her arm replies, "You can hardly see the scar anymore."  


  
Cut to 8 months earlier.  
New York  


  
Chandler and Monica are asleep with their arms wrapped around each other. As Monica begins stir, Chandler wakes up, smiles and kisses her forehead.  


  
"Good morning, Mrs. Bing," he smiles.  


  
Monica kisses him on the lips and smiles. "Can you believe I've been Mrs. Bing for five years now?"  


  
"I know. The time has just flown by. I guess because we've been having so much fun!" Chandler says, as he climbs out of bed. "If you want, I can pick up everything for the anniversary dinner. I know you will probably want to clean up the house before everyone gets here tonight."  


  
Monica makes her way over to Chandler and kisses him again. "You are so sweet, but I have a few errands to run this morning anyway. So I can pick everything up."  


  
"Okay, but if you change your mind, just let me know, honey." Chandler kisses her forehead before adding, "I'm taking my shower now."  


  
"Okay, sweetie. I'll see you downstairs."  


  
An hour later, Chandler is dressed for work and headed into the kitchen, where Monica has prepared breakfast. Sitting at the kitchen table is a little boy eating pancakes. Monica is at the stove preparing another batch for Chandler.  


  
"Hi daddy," the little boy says, as he smiles up at his father.  


  
Chandler laughs when he sees the maple syrup all over his son's face. "Have you seen this yet?" he asks Monica.  


  
"Oh yeah." She smiles, as she brings Chandler over a plate of pancakes. She looks at her son and says, "Ryan, I think we need to get you cleaned up." As she takes his hand, a baby is heard crying in the next room.  


  
"Want me to get him?" Chandler asks, as he begins to stand up.  


  
"No, its okay. You stay here with Ryan. I'll be right back." Monica runs into the next room, and moments later she returns carrying an infant.   


  
Chandler stands up and kisses the baby. Monica places the baby in a little bouncy chair, as she sits down next to Chandler at the table. "He just wanted to be in here with us." She says. Ryan climbs down from his chair and into Chandler's lap. "Mommy said that Jake will be able to crawl soon," Ryan announces.  


  
"That's right," Chandler says.  


  
"Want to see how many money I got?" Ryan asks, as he pulls some coins out of his pocket.  


  
Monica and Chandler laugh. Chandler stands up and picks Ryan up with him. "You show me that when I get home from work. Right now I have to get going."  


  
"If you give me a minute, we'll just leave now too." Monica says.  


  
Moments later, Chandler is helping Monica get the kids into their car-seats in the back of her Ford Explorer. After they are safely buckled in, Monica gives Chandler one more kiss.  


  
"I love you." She says, as she gets into the front seat.  


  
"I love you too, honey. I'll see you tonight."  


  
"Have a good day." Monica smiles. Chandler watches as she backs out of the driveway, and waves to Ryan as he watches them drive away.  


  


  
Later that morning, Chandler is sitting at his desk, concentrating on something when the phone rings. A little annoyed at the interruption, he picks up the phone. "This is Bing." There is a brief pause. Chandler is no longer looking at the important documents in front of him. "Yes, Monica Bing is my wife." He gets a very worried look on his face, drops the phone, and runs out of his office.  


  
Chandler runs frantically into the Emergency Room. He looks around momentarily, and heads straight to the Nurse's station. "My name is Chandler Bing. I'm looking for my wife, Monica," he says, a little out of breath. The nurse has an uneasy look on her face, and tells Chandler to wait for just a moment while she gets a doctor. Moments later, the nurse returns with the doctor.  


  
"Mr. Bing, I'm Dr. Peters," the man says, extending his hand.  


  
"Where is Monica? Is she okay?"  


  
"I think we should go into my office to talk."  


  
Chandler had a very bad feeling about this. He was getting frantic and fearing the worst. He enters the office, and the doctor gestures for Chandler to sit down. Instead of sitting down at the desk in front of Chandler, the doctor sat right next to him. Chandler was starting to get a sick feeling in his stomach.  


  
"Where is Monica? Where are my kids? Just tell me." Chandler said again.  


  
"As we told you on the phone, there was an accident." The doctor started. "Your wife was stopped at a red light. And someone rear-ended her."  


  
"That's it?" Chandler asked, feeling relieved. "That isn't so bad."  


  
The doctor sighed. "The car hit her at such a high speed that it pushed her onto the train tracks."  


  
"What??!" Chandler yelled. "What the hell are you telling me? There was a train coming and some jackass hit my wife's car onto the track? Are you saying she was hit by an on-coming train?"  


  
"Mr. Bing, I know it sounds crazy, but this happens more frequently than you can imagine."  


  
Chandler began to fear the worst again. He put his hands over his face in disbelief. He started to prepare himself for the bad news.  


  
"Luckily your wife only suffered from a broken collar bone and some cuts on her arm from the broken glass."  


  
Chandler looked up at the doctor again. "Would you stop doing this to me? Are you telling me she is okay?"  


  
"Yes, she is going to be fine."  


  
"Thank God." Chandler said sighing relief. "When can I see them?"  


  
The doctor looks down, avoiding eye contact. "This is probably the worst thing I have ever had to tell a parent."  


  
Chandler stared in disbelief. His lower lip began to tremble, as the realization began to set in. "Are you saying - that my kids - they didn't make it?"  


  
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Bing."   


  
Chandler was in shock. The only thing he managed to get out was one question. "Does Mon know?"  


  
"No, she doesn't know yet. She was hysterical when the EMTs brought her in, so we had to give her sedative. She's sleeping right now."  


  
"I have to see her."  


  
Chandler walked into her room, feeling totally empty. He couldn't imagine how Monica was going to take this. He wondered if she could handle it at all. He sat down beside her, as she continued to sleep, and took her hand. He kissed it sweetly as his eyes began to fill with tears. He remembered the last time she had been in the hospital four months earlier when Jake was born. He cried even more, and knew that Monica was going to be absolutely devastated.  


  
An hour or so later, she finally woke up and found Chandler still holding her hand. He had passed out next to her with his head leaning against her leg. She looked around the room, and had very little memory of the accident.   


  
"Chandler," she whispered. "Wake up, sweetie."  


  
He lifted his head and looked up at her. She could see his eyes were bloodshot from crying. She could tell just from the look in his eyes that he was about to tell her something she did not want to hear.  


  
"Chandler, what is it? Are the boys okay?"   


  
Chandler just sat there totally silent. He could not bring himself to tell her.  


  
"Chandler," she started again, as her voice cracked. "What is it? Where are Ryan and Jake?"  


  
Chandler brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly. He leaned in and kissed her cheek and then her mouth, and he began to cry. She was trying to remain calm, but it felt like the entire room was spinning and in slow motion at the same time. She didn't want to hear Chandler's words. She began screaming and crying as Chandler put his arms around her. She cried, he cried - until she finally cried herself to sleep. The tears had dried on her cheeks. Chandler didn't want to leave her side, but he knew he had to call their family and friends. It was supposed to be their anniversary dinner that night, but instead everyone gathered at the hospital to mourn.  


  
Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe came to the hospital that night, along with Monika's parents. They wanted to help in any way they could. Joey was in Los Angeles, and said he would be on the next flight out to New York. Chandler appreciated the support, but he knew their lives were never going to be the same. He was worried about how Monica was ever going to accept this, and he was also worried about himself.  


  
  
To be Continued? Feedback is welcome. Thanks!  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Part 2

  
  
Part 2  


  
It was the morning after the accident. Monica opened her eyes and looked around the hospital room. She was hoping the previous day had only been a nightmare. She closed her eyes tightly for a few seconds and opened them once again, this time with tears in them. Chandler was asleep in a chair next to her bed. Monica felt bad waking him, but she reached out to touch his arm.  


  
"Chandler," she quietly said. He opened his eyes, and quickly took her hand.   


  
"I'm sorry, I fell asleep." He said, as he kissed her hand.  


  
"No, that's okay," she paused, then said, "Chandler please tell me this is just a bad dream."  


  
Chandler stands up and sits on the bed next to his wife. "I would do anything to make that be the case."  


  
Monica sits up and leans her head against his chest and begins to quietly cry. Chandler didn't know what he was supposed to do, so they just sat there in silence for awhile holding each other. Chandler finally broke the silence. "Everyone is out in the waiting room. They all spent the night here."  


  
Monica wipes some tears off of her cheeks. "I can't see anyone right now. I'm sorry."  


  
"That's okay, sweetheart." Chandler looks into her eyes, and wipes away a tear. "We're going to get through this." He said, as he held her close again. "I promise." He told her as convincingly as he could.  


  
A couple of hours later, Dr. Peters gave Monica a clean bill of health and before leaving the room, told her she would be able to leave the hospital that day.  


  
"Chandler," Monica started. "I can't go back there."  


  
Chandler had been feeling the same way, but he was glad Monica was the one who brought it up.   


  
"I can't go back to our house." She continued.  


  
Chandler sat back down on the bed next to her. "It's okay. We don't have to."  


  
"Are you sure?" she asked.  


  
"Yes, I feel the same way. Rachel said we can stay at her place for as long as we need to. She is going to stay with Pheebs."  


  
Monica clung to Chandler as he held her close to him. "Things are never going to be the same." She whispered. Chandler closed his eyes and prayed she was wrong.  


  


  
Later that day, Chandler and Monica arrive at Rachel's apartment. Monica walks over to the couch and sits down. Chandler takes their suitcases into the bedroom, then joins Monica. "Rachel said she'd stop by the house and pick up some more stuff for us." Monica just nodded her head. "Honey, what are you thinking about?" Chandler asked.  


  
Monica looked at him. "I'm so sorry." she said, as the tears began to flow.  


  
Chandler took hold of her hands. "Mon, none of this was your fault. Please don't think that."  


  
"Of course it was. I should have just stayed home yesterday. God, our children died because of me!" Monica put her hands over her eyes as she continued to cry.  


  
"That isn't true. You did nothing wrong. It was that idiot who ran into you." Chandler said. "Monica, look at me. Don't blame yourself for this."  


  
"I didn't deserve to be their mother. I've ruined everything. Everything. How can I ever ask you to forgive me?"  


  
"Monica, you are a great mother," Chandler started.  


  
"Was." Monica corrected him. "I'm not a mother anymore." She cried a little more at this realization.  


  
Chandler took a deep breath. He was trying to be strong for Monica, but he was falling apart too.   


  
"I love you so much. I could have lost you too. I just thank God he didn't take you from me too." He told her as he held her in his arms.  


  
"Oh, Chandler I love you too." She told him. It was the last thing she said before she finally fell asleep in his arms.  


  
CUT BACK TO 2005 - Joey's wedding, Los Angeles  


  
"Chandler, are you okay?" Monica asked.  


  
Chandler, who has been in deep thought, smiles weakly. "Yeah, I was just thinking about…things."  


  
"I just saw Ross, so I am going to say hello. I'll see you later at the reception or something." Monica kisses him on the cheek before walking over to her brother. Chandler watched her, and for a moment wanted to follow her, but that decision was made when Phoebe approached him.  


  
"Hey Chandler." Phoebe said as he patted him on the back.  


  
"Hi." Chandler replied, as he stared at Monica.  


  
"Are you okay?" Phoebe asked.  


  
"I guess."  


  
"I noticed you and Monica were over here talking." She started, but then quickly noticed that Chandler had tears in his eyes. Phoebe hugs him. "She has been so distant since the accident."  


  
"I know." Chandler sighed.  


  
"Did you guys ever try the therapy?" Phoebe asked.  


  
CUT BACK TO RACHEL'S APT. 7 MONTHS EARLER  


  
Chandler is just getting in after a long day of work. The apartment is a complete mess, with clothes scattered everywhere, and dishes stacked in the sink a mile high. Monica is sleeping on the couch. Chandler puts his briefcase by the door and heads for the bedroom to change clothes.  


  
"Hi," Monica says from the next room. He walks back into the family room.  


  
"Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"  


  
"I'm okay. Any word on the house yet?" she asks.  


  
"Yes, it looks like the Smith's are going to be approved, so the sale should be final by the end of the week."  


  
"Are you sure you're okay with selling it?" she asks, as she sits up.  


  
"Yes, and I found an apartment for us in the city if you're up to looking at it."  


  
"I'm sure it will be fine." She gets up from the couch and heads into the kitchen, where she puts her bowl into the sink.  


  
"Monica, I think we need to see a therapist or something." Chandler says.  


  
"Why?"  


  
"Because. Look around. The place is a mess. This is so unlike you."  


  
"You expect me to be the same neurotic neat freak after everything that has happened in the past month?" Monica asks, raising her voice a bit.  


  
"Of course not. But we never talk anymore. You hardly ever sleep in the same room with me. Have I done something?" Chandler asks.  


  
"I'm sorry. But I just don't know if therapy is the answer. I just think its going to take some time."  


  
Chandler sits down on the couch. "I can't lose you, Monica. I just don't think I could take it." He was finally breaking, and Monica hadn't noticed it so much until now. She quickly walks over to the couch and sits beside him. She puts her arm around him, as he leans his head on her shoulder.  


  
"Chandler, I'm sorry. I've been so selfish. I should have realized how that was affecting you too. I know how much you loved them."  


  
"I wanted to be strong for you. I knew you were blaming yourself for the accident."   


  
Monica sweetly kisses Chandler on the cheek. "I don't want to lose you either. If you think we need therapy then I'll go."  


  
"Thank you." he replies.  


  
"Why don't I make you something to eat. You look exhausted," Monica says, starting to stand up. Chandler grabs her hand and pulls her back down on the couch with him.  


  
"Don't go." Chandler whispers.  


  
"I'm just going to the kitchen." Monica replies.  


  
"No, I mean…I really need you, Mon." Chandler leans in and kisses Monica passionately on the lips. She kisses him back as she runs her fingers through his hair. Chandler runs his hands over Monica's body, then he picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. They continue to kiss, as Chandler starts to unbutton Monica's blouse.  


  
"Wait.." Monica says, as she pulls away from him. "I can't do this."  


  
"What's wrong? Did I do something?"  


  
Monica, places her hand on Chandler's cheek. "No, you didn't do - I'm sorry, I just can't. Don't be angry."  


  
Chandler takes hold of Monica's hand. "Honey, I would never be angry at you. I love you. And we'll take as much time as you need."  


  
Monica and Chandler lean back against the pillows as she places her head on his chest. "Everything is going to be okay." Chandler continues, with a look of worry on his face.  


  
To be continued..sorry this part wasn't as exciting, but I promise it will get better! Thanks for reading!  
  
  
  



	3. Part 3

  
  
Part 3  


  
Two months after the accident, things were still a little strained between Chandler and Monica. They had moved out of Rachel's apartment and into one of their own right across the street. Chandler thought it would be good for Monica to live close to Rachel and the rest of their friends, even though each day Monica became more distant. He thought she might feel more comfortable living in the city again because she wouldn't have to drive and maybe it would remind her of the times before they got married and started their family. Chandler had finally made an appointment with a therapist, and today was going to be their first session.  


  
He walked into their apartment, and Monica was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee.  


  
"Hi, sweetie. Are you ready to go?" Chandler asked, as he put his briefcase by the front door.  


  
Monica stood up and put on her jacket. "I suppose."  


  
"You sure you're okay with this? I know you weren't too crazy about the idea at first."  


  
"Yeah, I'm okay. Maybe it will help us." She replied, a little doubtfully.   


  
Chandler extended his hand, and Monica grabbed hold of it. She smiled at him, but not the way she used to. Chandler missed her old smile, when he could see in her eyes just how happy she was. Now when she smiled, it was cold and empty. As they left the apartment, Chandler closed the door behind them.  


  
They caught a cab and arrived at the office building a few minutes later. After a short wait, they were called into the office and a woman came in and introduced herself as Dr. Holmes.  


  
"Why don't you make yourselves comfortable," the doctor told them as she pointed to a couch on the other side of the room. "And don't let the couch intimidate you," she laughed a little, "You won't have to lie down…unless of course you want to."  


  
Chandler and Monica sat down beside each other. Chandler could tell Monica was a little uneasy, and he debated whether or not to take hold of her hand, but decided not to. He didn't want to make her more uncomfortable.  


  
The doctor sat down in a chair in front of them, fairly close. "I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. And I want you to both know up front that if at any time there is something you don't want to discuss, then we don't have to. But its important to know that as cliché as it might sound, honesty is the best policy. You should be honest about your feelings, because that will help us to solve things a lot faster. And its going to take some time. Tonight I thought we would talk a little about the accident."  


  
Monica swallowed hard, "Wow, nothing like getting right down to business."  


  
"We don't have to, its completely up to you." Dr. Holmes replied.  


  
"Yeah, honey we don't have to talk about that tonight." Chandler agreed.  


  
"No, we can."   


  
"So let's start off by talking about the day it happened."  


  
"It was the morning of our fifth wedding anniversary," Chandler started.  


  
Monica smiled at the memory of that morning. "We were going to be having a small gathering that night of family and friends. So I had a few errands to run that morning."  


  
"We had a nice breakfast..pancakes. And Ryan had syrup all over his face." Chandler said, laughing a little.  


  
Monica couldn't believe Chandler remembered. She had forgotten all about the pancakes.  


  
"Ryan wanted to show me his coins, but I told him to wait until after work because I was going to be late." Chandler continued.  


  
"How does that make you feel, Chandler?" Dr. Holmes asked.  


  
Chandler looked up at her, with tears in his eyes. "It makes me feel like I was a bad father. I should have spent more time with them."  


  
Monica looked at Chandler. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She took his hand. "You had no idea you wouldn't see him after work. You shouldn't feel bad Chandler, this whole thing was my fault. If I had just let you pick everything up for the dinner none of this would have happened."  


  
"Mon, its not your fault. Please stop saying that."  


  
"Monica," Dr. Holmes started, "Why do you blame yourself?"  


  
"Chandler offered to let me stay home and clean up the house a little and said he'd pick up everything. But I said no. Don't you see, I'm to blame?"  


  
"It's natural to blame yourself. In time, I am hoping you will realize that you are a victim in this, just like your children."  


  
Monica and Chandler were both distraught, so the doctor told them they could continue next week. They were silent the whole way home, but Monica was starting to feel even more guilty, thinking that she had not been considerate to Chandler's feelings about any of this. When they got back to their apartment, Chandler told her he was going to take a shower. Monica felt totally helpless. Maybe she wasn't the only one distancing herself. She could feel that Chandler was starting to pull back from her, and she was starting to get scared that he would leave her. She couldn't lose him too. She went into their bedroom and put her nightgown on, then crawled into bed. It seemed like forever before Chandler entered the room. Monica was starting to get tired. Chandler got into bed and turned out the light without talking to Monica. He turned on his side, back facing her. Without a second thought, Monica put her hand on his bare shoulder.  


  
"Chandler?" she asked.  


  
At first he didn't answer, because he didn't want her to hear the tears in his voice. But Monica knew him better than he thought. She slid her hand to the back of his neck and gently rubbed his head. "Honey, I'm sorry."  


  
Chandler turned to face her, the tears streaming down his cheeks. He could see that she was now crying too. She leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He kissed her back, and soon the kisses became more intense. She knew he wanted to do more than just kiss, but she wasn't ready. She couldn't be intimate with him. Not yet. Not until she told him the truth about her feelings. She kissed him again, then pulled away. This time Chandler was not surprised. "Will you just hold me tonight?" she asked him, as she turned on her side with her back to him. Chandler kissed her cheek after moving her hair out from his face, and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. It felt good to hold her close again. They were soon fast asleep, both dreaming the next day would get a little better than the last.   


  
A week later, it was time for Chandler and Monica's next therapy session. They walked into the office, neither one of them really looking forward to talking anymore about the accident.   


  
"Today I thought we would talk about the two of you. I want to know how your life together was before all of this happened."  


  
"Everything was going great." Chandler said, as he remembered how his life had once been.  


  
"How did you and Chandler meet?" the doctor asked, looking at Monica.  


  
"Chandler was my brother's roommate in college. Eventually Chandler moved into the apartment across the hall from me, and we secretly started dating."  


  
"Why did you two keep it a secret?"  


  
"We didn't want Ross, Monica's brother, to find out about us," Chandler started.  


  
"In case things didn't work out." Monica continued. She looked over at Chandler and remembered how much fun they had together in the beginning of their relationship.  


  
Chandler smiled, "But everything did work out because I fell madly in love with her. And eventually, after I got over my commitment fears I asked her to be my wife."  


  
"So you got married, moved to the suburbs and started a family." The doctor said.  


  
"After we were married for a year, I found out I was pregnant. So Chandler and I decided we didn't want to raise our child in the city. We thought it would be safer to move." Monica replied, realizing what a stupid mistake they had made.  


  
"How is the relationship between the two of you now?" Dr. Holmes asked.  


  
Chandler and Monica looked down, embarrassed to admit they weren't the perfect couple they once were. Neither of them replied to the doctor's question.  


  
"Have you been intimate since the accident?" she asked.  


  
"It's just going to take some time." Monica finally said.  


  
"Monica isn't ready yet. I don't want to rush her." Chandler chimed in.  


  
"Monica, why are you afraid of being intimate with Chandler?"  


  
Monica knew, but she just didn't want to say it. She didn't want to hurt his feelings. She didn't think it was appropriate to say it in the presence of the doctor.  


  
"What is it Monica?" Chandler asked. "You know you can tell me anything."  


  
"I want to be with you, its just…" Monica started. "I'm afraid."  


  
"That you'll lose me? I promise, I won't go anywhere. I'm always going to be here."  


  
Monica sat in silence for a few moments. "The reason I can't be with you, is because.. its because I am afraid of getting pregnant again."  


  
"I can understand that, honey." Chandler says, breathing a sigh of relief. "There are precautions we can take to prevent that. And maybe later on, when the time is right we can talk about having a baby."  


  
"No, I don't think you do understand. I don't want to get pregnant again. Ever." Monica said as she put her hands over his face.  


  
Chandler was not expecting this. He had no idea Monica felt this way. He could understand her feelings to some degree, but he couldn't imagine them living their lives without children. Why hadn't she said anything to him about this before now? Suddenly, he was filled with anger.  


  
"How can you be serious?" he exclaimed. Monica was shocked, she had never seen Chandler look this way or react in such a manner.  


  
"I think I should give you two a minute alone," the doctor told them as she stood up. She quietly left the room.  


  
"Chandler," Monica started, but was cut off.  


  
"How can you be so selfish? Ever since the accident, the whole world has revolved around you. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I am hurting too?"  


  
"Of course. I just didn't know what to do to help you." Monica said, as she began to cry.   


  
"You were too busy thinking about yourself." Chandler was being so mean to her. She had no idea he had all of this anger stored inside of him. "And now you're telling me you don't want anymore children. If we hadn't come to therapy when were you planning on telling me about it? I thought we were in this together, Mon."  


  
"I'm sorry," she tried to explain.  


  
"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anymore of your words or 'I'm sorrys'. We can't change what happened. We can't change what you did." Chandler suddenly stopped. Monica couldn't believe what he had just said. He did blame her. She just sat there speechless. Chandler couldn't believe what he had just said to her either. Where did that come from? "Mon, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it." He tried to tell her.  


  
"Of course you did. And its fine. I blame myself anyway, so why shouldn't you?" she managed to say to him, her voice trembling from tears. "Listen, maybe we need some time apart."  


  
"No, please. I don't know what came over me. I swear I didn't mean that. I love you, Mon."  


  
Monica just sat there feeling totally numb. It was happening. Her worst fear - she was going to lose Chandler too. "I'm going to stay with Rachel for awhile." She stood up, grabs her jacket and heads for the door. "Good-bye, Chandler." She tells him as she closes the door behind her.  
  
  



	4. Part 4

  
  
Part 4  


  
It had been a month since Monica moved in with Rachel and Chandler was missing her terribly. He had tried calling, but Monica never called him back. Whenever he would go over to Rachel's apartment to try and talk to Monica, she wouldn't come to the door. Rachel hated seeing her two friends in so much pain, and even though she did not want to get in the middle of it, she respected Monica's wishes not to see Chandler and didn't want to force her.  


  
Chandler stood alone in his apartment, looking out the window across the street at Rachel's apartment. He was hoping to catch a glimpse of Monica, just to make sure that she was okay. So far he'd seen nothing, not even a shadow. He scolded himself everyday for what he had said to her during that last therapy session. He never meant to hurt Monica, he loved her with all of his heart. If he could only somehow convince her of how sorry he was and prove how much he loved her.   


  
It began to rain outside, and Chandler realized he'd been standing in front of the window for over an hour. He was getting tired, so he headed off to the bedroom and got ready for bed. Alone. Just as he had been doing all month. He could still smell Monica's scent all over their bedroom, which just made him miss her even more. He had an overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and call her, but knowing the end result would be the same, he just tried to close his eyes and fall asleep in the bed he hoped he would once again share with Monica.  


  
Monica couldn't sleep. She could hear the raindrops hitting the window pane outside of her apartment and it was driving her crazy. She crawled out of bed, grabbed her robe and decided to go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She noticed a light was on in Chandler's apartment across the street and she figured he must have been having sleep problems as well. She slightly smiled as she realized how alike she and Chandler really were. She missed him so much, but there was no way they could be together if he really blamed her for the accident. She couldn't be with him unless he could forgive her, and most of all until she forgave herself.  


  
The next morning, Chandler knew that he had to see Monica. He couldn't stand for one more minute not to be with her. He went over to Rachel's apartment and knocked on the door. Rachel answered and smiled at him.  


  
"Hi Chandler," Rachel said as she hugged him. "Come on in."  


  
"Thanks," Chandler replied as he walked in. "Where's Monica?"  


  
"Believe it or not, she is still sleeping." Rachel said, as she poured a cup of coffee. "You look like you could use one too." She said as she grabbed another mug.  


  
"I can't take this, Rach." Chandler told her, as he sat down.  


  
"I know. I wish there was something I could do. I hate this situation."  


  
"I miss her so much. And everyday that we're apart, I can feel her slipping away just a little bit more. I just wish she would talk to me." Chandler stood back up and walked over to a small table filled with framed photos. He picked one up from his and Monica's wedding. "I wish things were like they used to be." He didn't notice that Monica had peeked her head around the corner from the hallway and was listening to his conversation with Rachel. Monica stood, not wanting to interrupt them. Chandler set the photo back on the table. "I know things will never be the same, but maybe they can be better. Or maybe I'm dreaming."  


  
Rachel got up from the table and walked over to Chandler. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Give her some more time. Everything will work out."  


  
Chandler turned and hugged his friend. "Thanks, Rach. And thanks for being here for Mon too. I'm glad she has a friend like you."  


  
Rachel smiled. "I love you guys. You are my family." Looking at her watch, she continued, "Now I have to get to work. But if you want to hang out and wait for Monica, feel free." Rachel grabbed her jacket and left the apartment.  


  
Chandler continued to drink his coffee and wondered if he should leave or try and talk to Monica. Before he could make that decision, Monica appeared in the living room, still wearing her robe. Chandler was lost for words, he didn't think she would come out of her room. "Good morning," He finally said.  


  
"Hi." Monica replied, as she walked over towards him. Chandler noticed she looked tired, but still as beautiful as ever. "You don't give up, do you?" she asked.  


  
"I'm never giving up on you, if that's what you mean."  


  
"Its good to see you." she told him.  


  
"I miss you." Chandler said.  


  
Monica smiled and sat down across from him at the table. "I've been meaning to call you. There are a few things I need to talk to you about."  


  
"There are some things I need to tell you too. Mon, I am so sorry about what happened at the therapy session. I don't know what came over me."  


  
"Let's not talk about that right now. I miss you too, Chandler. But this time to myself has been really good for me."  


  
"What are you saying?" Chandler asked her, as his palms started to get sweaty.  


  
Monica reached her hand across the table and took hold of his. "I have an opportunity to do something I've always wanted."  


  
"What?"  


  
"I got a job offer in Milan. And I'm going to take it."  


  
Chandler was speechless. What did this mean? Did she want a divorce? He felt his world spinning out of control once again. She was leaving him. He was losing her. This was it.  


  
Monica could see that Chandler was surprised. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. But she needed this time to clear her mind. "Chandler, are you okay?" she finally asked him.  


  
"Am I okay? How can you even ask me that after the bombshell you just dropped? Am I okay?" Chandler said again, as he began to laugh.  


  
"Why are you laughing?" Monica asked him.  


  
"Because, I came over here today to tell you how much I miss and love you. And how much I need you in my life. What a fool I must look like, while you're telling me that basically our marriage is over and you are taking a job in another country!"  


  
"I never said anything was over, Chandler." Monica said, getting a little defensive.  


  
"I don't understand you anymore. I feel like I don't even know you."  


  
"Well the feeling is mutual, Chandler." Monica said, standing up. "I thought you of all people would understand."  


  
"Understand? I understand that we are going through a really hard time. Did our marriage vows mean anything to you, Mon? You know, for better or worse. I thought we were supposed to stick together. I guess I was wrong." Chandler, with tears in his eyes said as he left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.  


  
Monica left for Milan later that week. She had tried to call and tell Chandler good-bye but he didn't answer the phone. He was too upset and disappointed that Monica would rather leave than stay and try to work on their marriage.   


  
The days turned into weeks, then into months and pretty soon it had been almost 3 months since Monica had been gone. Chandler, of course, was still missing her and worried about how she was doing. He would talk to Rachel as often as possible to see if she had talked to Monica, and from what he could tell she was doing really well. He was happy for her, even if he was miserable. He was only nervous that one day he would receive divorce papers, but so far that day had not come, so he still felt a little hope in his heart.  


  
A month before Christmas, Chandler was opening his mail when he received the invitation for Joey's wedding. He knew that Joey had been dating a woman for quite awhile, but he'd been so caught up in his own life, he didn't realize it had gotten so serious. He called Joey and confirmed that he would definitely be at the wedding. Without trying to sound too interested, he asked Joey if Monica had been invited as well. Joey told Chandler that she had been, but didn't know if she would be able to make it or not. Chandler was disappointed, but tried not to show it. He hung up with Joey and started to remissness about his and Monica's wedding.  


  
Three weeks flew by and before Monica knew it, she was on a plane back into the United States. She was flying to La Guardia to meet Rachel and from there they were flying out to Los Angeles. Monica was a little nervous because she knew that Chandler was going to be at the wedding. They hadn't spoken since the day Chandler had stormed out of Rachel's apartment. And even though Chandler had called her in Milan a few times, Monica had always missed his calls and never returned them. She told herself everything was going to be okay and tried to get some sleep on her long flight into New York.  


  
Sorry this wasn't that exciting, but the next part will be up soon! Feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading!  


  
  



	5. Part 5

  
  
Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it!!  


  
Part 5  


  
Monica looked around the church, remembering how beautiful her own wedding had been. She and Chandler were originally going to get married at the museum, but later changed their minds when they were able to book St. Patrick's Cathedral. Monica had worn a beautiful white satin gown, and she would never forget walking down the aisle to an absolutely beaming Chandler. During her time in Milan, she had thought a lot about her wedding, married life, and of course the birth of her children. She was happy that she could focus on all of the good times and each day she was able to push the pain and agony a little further away. She finally sat in one of the pews and thought about her encounter with Chandler earlier that afternoon. She remembered every detail about it. He had tenderly kissed her cheek and looked at her with so much love and warmth. She smiled at the thought of him and hoped that by her going to Milan he was able to work out his anger and not be more upset with her. Suddenly, she was not alone.  


  
"Is that seat taken?" Chandler asked her.   


  
Monica looked up at him, a little dazed. "Sorry." She shyly smiled. "No, please sit down."  


  
"The ceremony is about the start." Chandler informed her as he sat down next to her.  


  
Monica felt chills all over her body. She hadn't realized how much she had really missed him. She looked at him and smiled again. Chandler smiled back. He was glad that he had decided to sit next to her. He wasn't sure how she would react, since she had been a little uneasy during their first encounter, but he could feel that she was getting more comfortable around him again.  


  
The ceremony was short and sweet. Mr. and Mrs. Tribiani were more focused on the reception, which was going to be held at The Omni in Beverly Hills. Everyone was having a great time, so Chandler took the opportunity upon himself to try and talk to Monica. He noticed she was sitting at a table watching everyone dance. He walked over to her.  


  
"Would you care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand.  


  
Monica smiled. "No thanks."  


  
"Not exactly the answer I had hoped for."  


  
"Just not in a dancing mood. But you can sit with me if you would like."  


  
Chandler did just that. "I was hoping we could talk, Mon. I mean really sit down and talk."  


  
"I would like that."   


  
"Really?" He said, smiling.   


  
"Yes, we really should talk. But not here. Not now. How about later tonight?"  


  
Chandler frowned. "I'm supposed to go back to New York tonight. You know, big meeting Monday morning."  


  
"Oh." Monica replied.  


  
Chandler noticed that she looked genuinely disappointed, so he quickly added, "But I can change that. Its not a problem. I would much rather stay here anyway."  


  
Monica felt better, but tried not to let Chandler notice. "That would be great. Thanks."  


  
The two sat in silence for a few minutes, but it was a comfortable silence. A server brought them over two glasses of champagne. While they sat together, Monica commented on how happy Joey looked.  


  
"He sure does." Chandler replied.  


  
"Everyone looks happy." She continued.  


  
"Yeah." Chandler agreed.  


  
Monica stood up and extended her hand to Chandler. "I think I'd like that dance now." She smiled. Chandler stood up, took her hand and led her out to the dance floor. It was just their luck that the next song was a slow one. Chandler held her close to him, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself when he smelled her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist and thought about how nice it felt to be so close to him again. From across the room, Rachel, Ross and Phoebe watched their friends and all smiled to themselves.  


  
A couple of hours later, Monica and Chandler entered her hotel room. It had been a long day and they were both exhausted. Especially Monica. Her jet lag was starting to catch up with her. She sat down on the edge of her bed and threw her shoes off. Chandler took his jacket off and sat down on the other bed.  


  
"So…" He started.  


  
"I guess we should talk." Monica said, not wanting to make direct eye contact.  


  
"Yeah. Mon, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but did you bring me up here to tell me you want a divorce?"  


  
Monica looked at him and slowly shook her head. "No. Do you?"  


  
"Of course not. I've missed you so much."  


  
"I've missed you too. More than you know."   


  
Chandler paused, then continued. "Mon, I was wrong. I didn't mean any of those things I said to you. I just flipped out. I love you. I always have."  


  
Monica smiled. "You really didn't mean it?"  


  
Chandler moved over and sat beside of Monica. "No. I was just so angry with myself and I took it out on you. And that was so wrong. After you left, I kept seeing Dr. Holmes and we worked through my anger."  


  
"I've been seeing someone too."  


  
"Oh, I didn't realize you were dating someone." Chandler said, defeated.  


  
"No! A psychiatrist. I'm not dating anyone." Monica laughed.  


  
"Whew! I got kind of scared for a minute." Chandler laughed. "We haven't laughed in awhile, huh?"  


  
"No, we haven't." Monica said as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Chandler, I think I'm going to be okay. I can finally accept what happened and I don't blame myself anymore."  


  
"I'm glad." He told her. "I just wish I could have been there to help you."  


  
"You did help me. By letting me go. You helped me more than you know." Monica said.  


  
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Mon."  


  
"I'm sorry I hurt you." Monica said, with tears in her eyes. The two looked deep into each other's eyes, then embraced in a tight hug. Chandler ran his fingers through Monica's hair and they both began to cry. This time not tears of pain, but tears of joy knowing that everything was going to be okay between them.  


  
"So what now?" Chandler asked, after they finally let go of one another.  


  
"We start over. That is, if you want to." Monica smiled, as she wiped some tears from under her eyes.  


  
"I have missed that smile. It felt so good being with you tonight. It felt right, Mon." Chandler said, as he placed his hand softly on her cheek.  


  
"I know, and I promise I'm never going anywhere ever again. I want us to be together forever." She told him, as she leaned in and sweetly kissed him on the lips. When they pulled apart, Chandler smiled.  


  
"I love you Monica."  


  
"I love you too." She told him, leaning in for another kiss. They held each other again, before Chandler finally stood up.  


  
"I should probably go." He said, taking her hands in his.  


  
"Do you really have to?"   


  
"I think it would be best if we just take things slowly. But I will see you first thing in the morning. We'll have breakfast."  


  
"Okay." Monica said, as she walked Chandler to the door. She kissed him one last time before he left. As they said good-night, she closed the door behind him, then leaned her back up against it feeling happier than she had in a long time. Chandler stood on the other side of the door feeling exactly the same way. He couldn't believe that he and Monica were actually back together - or at least on the road to reconciliation. He walked over to the elevator with a huge grin on his face knowing that everything was going to be okay in the morning.  


  
Thanks for reading!! I would love feedback, suggestions, etc. :)  
  
  



	6. Part 6

  
  
Part 6  


  
Disclaimer: This is for a mature reading audience due to "adult situations" LOL.   


  
Monica rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. 5:34. She wondered if Chandler was awake. Of course not, she told herself. Everyone in their right mind would be sleeping. But she couldn't stop thinking about him. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. But more than anything she wanted to be in his arms again and feel secure, the way she had before. She turned over and closed her eyes trying to fall asleep. It was no use, all she could see was Chandler's face smiling at her. She kept replaying the kiss from earlier that night over and over again in her head. She smiled to herself and once again closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on something other than him. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. A little unsure that it had only been her imagination, Monica grabbed her robe and went to answer it.  


  
Her smile grew even larger when she saw who was on the other side.  


  
"I couldn't sleep." Chandler said.  


  
Monica laughed, as he walked into her room. "I couldn't sleep either." She told him, as she closed the door.  


  
"So then its not too early for breakfast." Chandler joked.  


  
"Not at all. But you're going to have to wait for me to shower and get dressed."  


  
"Okay, I'll be here." Chandler smiled, as he sat down on the bed.  


  
A short while later, Monica was ready to go. They headed downstairs and luckily the hotel restaurant had just started serving breakfast. They sat down across from each other at a small table. Chandler wanted to tell Monica how beautiful she looked, but for some reason he was still a little reserved when it came to opening up to her. He didn't quite understand why he was holding back. Maybe he couldn't believe that she was actually sitting across from him. His beautiful wife. Chandler just sat there continuing to smile and stare at Monica.  


  
"Hello? Are you okay?" Monica asked as she waved her hand in front of him.  


  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking that this is really nice." Chandler replied.  


  
Monica could sense his uneasiness. She practically knew him better than he knew himself. But she couldn't blame him for feeling this way. It had been her decision to leave, and she was willing to do whatever it would take to earn back his complete trust. She put her hand on his. "I'm glad you came over this morning."  


  
"I am too. I guess it was good that I followed my instincts, huh?"  


  
"Definitely." She replied.  


  
Monica looked over the menu, but she had something else on her mind. "When are you planning to go back to New York?"  


  
Chandler looked up at her. "I hadn't really given it much thought, actually."  


  
"I'm supposed to leave in a couple of days." She told him.  


  
Chandler was disappointed. Was she having second thoughts? What about her saying she wanted to start over and that she was never leaving again? He had been afraid to ask her when or even if she was going back to Milan, and now he wondered if he had misjudged this whole thing. Monica placed her hand on his cheek. "Let's not worry about that right now, okay?"  


  
Chandler looked deep into Monica's eyes and all of his fears seemed to disappear. There was something about the expression on her face alone that told him he should have nothing to worry about. But a little part of him still wondered if he was going to lose her again, and he hated that part of himself for thinking that way.  


  
Chandler decided to try and not think about that right now. He wanted to focus on the moment and not take any time with Monica for granted. Even though he hoped beyond hope that everything was going to work out, he had wasn't going to pressure Monica into anything she didn't want to do. He wanted her to be happy.  


  
The two enjoyed their breakfast, and afterwards they were met up with Ross, Rachel and Phoebe in the lobby, who were all checking out.   


  
"Are you sure you guys have to get back to New York?" Monica asked them.  


  
"Honey, I wish I could stay longer, but I've got so much work this week." Rachel told her.  


  
"Me too. The Paleontology Department is having an important meeting tomorrow that I can't miss." Ross told his sister, as he hugged her tightly.  


  
Phoebe didn't have anything important to get back to in New York, but she could tell by the expression on Chandler's face that he really wanted to spend some time alone with Monica. She explained that she had a new massage client that she had to meet with and couldn't reschedule. Chandler and Monica walked them out and waited with them for the cab to take them to the airport. After they had left, Monica and Chandler headed back into the hotel.  


  
"So now what?" Chandler asked her, as he put his hands in his pockets.  


  
"Good question." Monica said, as she smiled at him. "If we were secretly dating we wouldn't even have to ask that question." She laughed at her own joke.  


  
Chandler smiled, and laughed a bit as well. "Oh yes, I remember those days. All of the sneaking around." An awkward silence ensured for a moment.  


  
"Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?" Monica asked.  


  
"Sure. That sounds great."   


  
They headed out of the hotel and walked a few blocks. The beach was very close by and it was a beautiful morning. They walked together for awhile, just enjoying the ocean and the serenity, and even the silence. Monica took hold of Chandler's hand and held onto it tightly. She didn't say a word. They just kept walking.   


  
"I've missed this." She finally said.  


  
"So have I." Chandler replied.  


  
"I've had so much time to think since I've been away. And for the first time in a long time I feel like I can finally breathe again. I have so much to tell you, Chandler. I don't even know where to start."  


  
Chandler's heart was practically in his throat. He didn't know if he was going to like what she had to tell him. Was she going back to Italy? He took both of her hands and led her over to some rocks, where they sat down.  


  
"Mon, I have a lot to tell you too."  


  
"I'm so sorry, Chandler." She started. "After everything happened, I just expected you to pick up all of the pieces. I never stopped and thought about how you were feeling."  


  
"You don't have to apologize for anything. No one can ever prepare themselves for what happened to us. We handled it the only way we knew how."  


  
"But walking out wasn't right. I should have stayed so we could help each other. It was so wrong to just leave you all alone."  


  
"It wasn't easy. I was so worried about you. I was so scared you would never come back." Chandler told her.  


  
Monica lovingly placed her hand on his cheek. "You know how last night I told you that I've worked through everything?"  


  
"Yes." Chandler replied, feeling a little uneasy.  


  
"There is one thing that I haven't resolved yet."  


  
"What is it?" He asked her, very concerned.  


  
"I need to know if you can forgive me." Monica said to him, with tears in her eyes.  


  
Chandler's eyes filled with tears as well. "Mon, I love you. And you know I forgive you anything."  


  
Monica smiled through her tears. That was all she needed to hear. She pulled Chandler into a tight embrace and they just held each other. She kissed him a few times on his cheek, as they rested their foreheads against each other and smiled looking into each other's eyes. Chandler wiped Monica's tears from her cheek before leaning in and sweetly kissing her on the lips. They kissed a couple of more times before Chandler hesitantly pulled back. Monica looked concerned. She could tell he had something serious to say.  


  
"Mon, I don't want you to go back to Milan. Please come back to New York with me." He practically begged her.  


  
"Oh honey," Monica smiled. "Did you think I was going back there? I was only going to go back to get my stuff."  


  
Chandler felt completely relieved.  


  
"I have every intention of going back to New York with you. To stay. If you'll have me." She told him as she kissed him on the cheek.  


  
"I was so worried you were going to leave again."  


  
"I am not going anywhere. I can just have all of my stuff shipped back to New York."  


  
Chandler smiled as they stood up and embraced once more. "Let's not worry about that right now." He said to her as he kissed her head. They walked along the beach hand in hand, happier than they had been in a long time.  


  
They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and catching up on what had been going on in their lives. They had a lot of catching up to do, but in a way it felt like they had never been apart. Things were the same, yet completely different. It was almost as if they were first dating, and didn't seem like they had been married for almost six years. Monica told Chandler all about the restaurant she ran in Milan, and Chandler filled Monica in on his promotion at work. Before they knew it, it was already 6:00, so they headed back to the hotel.  


  
After walking Monica back to her room, Chandler told her that he would meet her in a couple of hours and they would have dinner. Monica could tell Chandler had something on his mind, but she didn't want to push it. She knew he would tell her when the time was right.  


  
Awhile later, Chandler came back to Monica's room. He was dressed in a nice suit, and looked very handsome. But his jaw practically hit the floor when Monica opened the door. She looked even better than she had the night before, if that was possible. He smiled as he pulled her into a passionate kiss.   


  
"You look beautiful." He told her.  


  
"You don't look so bad yourself." She said, as she closed the door behind her. "So where are we off to? I hope I am not overdressed, by the way."  


  
"Its a surprise. And you look perfect." He grinned, as he took her hand.  


  
When they reached the entrance to the hotel, there was a limo waiting for them outside. Monica couldn't believe that Chandler had done all of this, but she wasn't about to complain. She loved it. The ride to the restaurant was short. It was a beautiful spot right on the ocean. Chandler took her hand and led her inside. It was romantically lit with candles and not a single person there.  


  
"I can't believe you did this. You rented this whole place out?"  


  
Chandler just smiled and took her to a table that overlooked the beach. The waves crashed against the rocks right outside the window. Chandler pulled out a chair for Monica, and she sat down still a little in disbelief over how wonderful Chandler was. He took his seat right across from her.  


  
"I love you. You know that, right?" She told him.  


  
"I was kind of hoping you did." He said. "Otherwise I really wouldn't have gone to all this trouble." He joked.  


  
They had a wonderful dinner and Chandler proposed a toast dedicated to their new beginning. Then Monica's favorite song, "The Way You Look Tonight" started to play, and she and Chandler shared a dance. They held each other closely and didn't say a word for the entire song. Monica didn't think things could get any better. She and Chandler walked back over to the table, but instead of taking his seat back in front of her, Chandler kneeled beside of her, pulled a little velvet box out of his pocket and placed it in front of her. She was lost for words.  


  
"Monica, I love you more than anything. And I know we're already married, but with everything we have been through, it would mean more to me than you know, if you would do me the honor of marrying me again."  


  
Monica was so moved by this, she was filled with so many emotions. Their wedding anniversary was now the anniversary of the accident. It made sense for them to have another ceremony to celebrate their marriage with a brand new date. She pushed her chair back so she could kneel on the floor with him and held him tightly. No verbal answer was necessary. She placed her original engagement ring on her right hand, and Chandler put a beautiful white gold, emerald cut diamond ring on her left ring finger. They kissed again, then embraced once more. She loved him more than anything, and he felt the same way about her.  


  
Soon after, they reached Monica's hotel room and there was no question in Monica's mind that she wanted to be with Chandler. She took hold of his hand and led him over to the bed. The moonlight shone through the crack in the curtain, which was the only source of light. They looked deep into each other's eyes and began kissing passionately. Monica turned her back to Chandler, and without instruction, he slowly unzipped her dress and watched it drop to the floor. She turned to face Chandler again, and she began to unbutton his shirt in between kisses. After what seemed to be an eternity, they made their way to the bed, continuing to kiss the entire time. Monica ran her fingers through his hair as she pulled him closer to her. She pressed herself against him as his mouth opened over hers in a sweet, tender kiss. Monica brushed her lips over his, and touched her tongue to his lips. Chandler rolled her onto her back, kissing her. His hands began to slide over her breasts and waist and back, then his mouth returned to hers. He ran his fingers through her hair, while kissing her neck. Monica placed her hand on his cheek and they looked deep into each others once again savoring every moment. Without taking his eyes from hers, he turned his face into her hand and slid his lips back and forth against her palm, and kissed it sweetly. Chandler eased himself on top of her and between her legs. He kissed her again, as her nails dug into his back. It felt so good being with him again, and they hadn't made love this passionately since they had first been together. Chandler continued to drive into her, forcing her faster and faster. Lifting her hips higher and tighter to him, he plunged harder. Monica moaned as quietly as she could, as they climaxed together. Afterward, they held each other and Monica rested her head on his chest.  


  
"You're amazing." Chandler told her.  


  
Monica looked up at him and smiled. "I love you."  


  
"I love you too."  


  
Monica kissed him softly one more time before snuggling up closely to him and soon there after falling soundly asleep in his arms for the first time in months.   


  
Thanks for reading!! Please review or email and let me know if you would like for me to continue!   


  
  



	7. Part 7

  
  
The One With The Worst Fears   
  
Part 7  
  


  
  
Monica slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she realized the night before had not been only a dream. She was still lying in a sleeping Chandler's arms and they were definitely back together again. She looked up at him and remembered what an amazing night they'd had. She hadn't wanted it to end, but as far as she was concerned this was only the beginning for them - a second chance for them. She continued to smile and think about how happy she was that she had decided to go out to Los Angeles for Joey's wedding. Memories of their life together from before the accident started to seep into her current thoughts. While she never wanted to forget the wonderful times, she just wanted to focus on the present and more importantly, their future. She was starting to doze off again when she felt Chandler's lips on her forehead. She opened her eyes, smiled at him and leaned in and kissed him softly on his lips.  


  
"I was wondering when you were going to wake up." She told him, sitting up a little.  


  
"Me? Look whose talking sleepy head." He smiled.  


  
"I will have you know that I have been awake for the last fifteen minutes." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.  


  
Chandler put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "What can I say, last night took a lot out of me." Monica smiled to herself. Chandler softly pushed some of her hair out of her face. "You were incredible. I don't know how I got so lucky."  


  
Monica caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand. "I love you so much. Have I mentioned that lately?"  


  
Chandler looked deep into her blue eyes. They were filled with so much love and hope, he felt like he could burst into tears. "I love you too. Forever and ever." He kissed her sweetly on the lips and then took her into his arms for a long hug. She rested her head on his shoulder. Everything was finally right with the world, she thought to herself.  


  
"I really hate for this to end," Chandler laughed a little, "but we have got to get ready for our flight."  


  
"Ugh, as much as I want to get back to New York, its just so much better here." Monica sighed as she fell back onto the bed.  


  
"I know nothing can beat this place, but how about a shower for two?" Chandler smiled, taking both of her hands in his.  


  
"Now that is an offer I can't refuse, Bing." Monica said as she let Chandler pull her up off of the bed.  


  


  
  
A couple of hours later they were on their flight back to New York. Monica was kind of nervous about going back, even though she knew everything was going to be fine. Chandler noticed Monica looking out of the window and wondered what she was thinking about. His left hand took hold of her right hand and gave it a tight squeeze. She looked over at him and smiled.  


  
"Penny for your thoughts." Chandler said after a few moments.  


  
"Oh you know, just thinking about going back." Monica replied.  


  
"You are okay with this, right?"  


  
Monica smiled. "Honey, I love you. And I want to be with you. And I am totally fine about going back."  


  
"Good, that's what I wanted to hear. And I have a surprise for you when we do get back."  


  
Monica raised her eyebrow, intrigued. "A surprise, huh? And what might that be?"  


  
Chandler smiled at her. "Ahh, wouldn't you like to know, Mrs. Bing."  


  
"Yes, I would."  


  
"Well you're just going to have to wait. But I can tell you one thing, you are going to love it."  


  
"That doesn't help. Come on, give me a little hint. Just a little one."  


  
"Nope. Nothing you can do will change my mind either." He smiled, very happy with himself.  


  
"_Nothing_?" Monica asked, willing to take on the challenge.  


  
"Nothing." He replied. "And don't get any ideas." He continued.  


  
Monica leaned over to whisper in his ear. "You know, I was thinking, on our flight home from London, we never did get to meet up in the bathroom." She smiled, satisfied this would help her win. "I'd be happy to meet you in there, for a price."  


  
Chandler couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Oh and what might that be?"  


  
Monica kissed Chandler's neck and nibbled on his ear a little before whispering, "Tell me what the surprise is. I'll make you a very happy man."  


  
Chandler was getting very tempted, especially with Monica blowing in his ear now. He took a deep breath and looked at her. "Nope, you're going to have to wait."  


  
Monica couldn't believe she was defeated! She knew it must be something really special for Chandler to deny her this way. She smiled sweetly at him, kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.  


  


  
Only a few hours later they arrived in the Big Apple. They had been flying practically all day, and it was already 6pm by the time they got to New York. Monica was exhausted, as was Chandler. She couldn't wait to get home. Home. It was an odd situation since she hadn't been calling New York home for quite some time. She and Chandler grabbed their bags and headed outside to hail a cab. Yep, she was definitely back in New York all right. The street was filled was tons of those yellow cabs, and she could smell that typical New York sewer smell - and she smiled when she realized that she had actually missed this city. Chandler could see she was reminiscing and hated to ruin the moment, but he had to get her attention to tell her the cab was waiting. She jumped in and they were on their way.  


  
Monica figured the cab driver must have thought she and Chandler were tourists because he was taking the "long way" to their apartment. That really made her mad that this guy was trying to get a few extra bucks from them. She sighed rather loudly and looked over at Chandler.   


  
"I can't believe this guy is taking this route to apartment. Why didn't he just take 57th? Why are we all the way on 14th?"  


  
Chandler smiled and put his arm around her. "It will be okay, honey."  


  
It made no sense to Monica for them to be driving around Greenwich Village when they lived all the way uptown on the east side of Manhattan. She was getting rather annoyed with this cab driver, but then suddenly he pulled over and stopped in what was a very familiar area.  


  
Chandler looked at her as she turned to him, somewhat shocked. "Surprise." He smiled.  


  
"What, I don't believe it." She replied, speechless. Chandler paid the cab driver and they got out. They were standing in front of their old apartment building. The building they lived when they were just friends, where they fell in love with each other. They were back at Apartment 20. They were home.  


  
They walked up the stairs, Monica still pretty shocked. She couldn't believe Chandler had gotten their apartment again. How had he managed this - they had moved out so long ago. Before they reached the apartment, Monica reached out and grabbed his hand.  


  
"I don't know how you did this, but thank you."  


  
Chandler pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. "I would do anything to make you happy. And I know we needed a fresh start, so I thought maybe it would do us some good to go back to where it all started."  


  
Monica smiled up at him. She knew he was so sweet, but maybe she had just taken it for granted. And she would never let that happen again. She put both of her hands on his cheeks. "You thought right. I can't remember a time when I was this happy. And its because of you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, you know."  


  
"And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." They hugged each other tightly. "Ready to head in?"  


  
"Definitely."  


  
Chandler knocked on the door. Monica looked at him questionably. "I don't have a key yet." Chandler shrugged.  


  
The door opened and on the other side was Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe. The apartment was decorated with balloons and streamers and a big sign that read, "Welcome home".  


  
Monica's eyes filled with tears as she went to embrace the three of them. "Oh you guys, I can't believe this." She looked around the apartment and it looked almost exactly as it had when she and Chandler had lived there. "This place looks great." Looking over to Chandler, she added, "How did you do this?"  


  
"Well, I had a lot of help." He told her, as he put his hands in his pockets. Monica walked over and wrapped her arms around him.  


  
Rachel smiled, and was elated to see that Monica was so happy again. "Chandler called and told us that you guys were coming back so we had 24 hours to get this place in tip-top shape."  


  
"Thank you guys so much." Monica told them. "I just can't believe it. This is the best surprise ever."  


  
"So how about some dinner? You guys must be hungry." Ross asked.  


  
"Did you cook, Ross?" Monica asked, surprised.  


  
"Sure did. And they helped." He smiled as he pointed to Phoebe and Rachel.  


  
"Guilty as charged." Phoebe replied, as she grabbed some plates.  


  
"Well I am willing to try anything once." Monica laughed. "But let me get these suitcases into the bedroom first."  


  
"I'll help you honey." Chandler told her, as he grabbed the bags.  


  
They headed for their bedroom, and Monica flipped on the light switch. She smiled. It looked exactly like it did back then. The walls had been painted a pale yellow, but other than that everything looked the same. She leaned up against the frame of the door still a little overwhelmed by Chandler's surprise. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. "I'm glad you like your surprise."  


  
"I more than like it. We're going to be so happy here. Just like before."  


  
Monica and Chandler walked back into the kitchen to join the others for dinner.  


  
"Chandler and I have some more news for you guys."  


  
"What is it?" Phoebe asked.  


  
"Well, we've decided to renew our wedding vows." Monica stated, as she held up her left hand.  


  
"Ohh, that is so sweet." Rachel replied as she put her hand to her heart. She took Monica's left hand and examined the ring. "It's beautiful. I am so happy for you guys." She pulled Monica into a tight hug.  


  
"Yeah, this is great news!" Phoebe agreed.  


  
"Do you know when you're going to do it?" Ross asked.  


  
"As soon as we can." Monica replied.  


  
"Yeah, its going to be very small. Just for family and close friends." Chandler said.  


  
"We just want a brand new date, you know, to celebrate our love for each other. It would be too hard to celebrate on the other one. And it'll be a year since…" Monica cut her sentence short. There was an awkward silence, no one really knew what to say. Chandler took Monica's hand and kissed it gently.   


  
"It's okay, sweetie. We're not trying to erase anything. Everyone understands we just need a new start."  


  
"Of course, honey." Rachel agreed.   


  
"Thank you for being so supportive." Monica told her friends.  


  
"We're always going to be here for you, Mon." Phoebe told her, smiling.  


  
"So listen, we have a lot of planning to do for this. Even if it is going to be small. Pheebs and I can start helping tomorrow if you want." Rachel finally said, trying to break the ice a little.  


  
"That would be great." Monica agreed.  


  


  
Over the next few weeks, the three girls worked non-stop on the mini-wedding. Monica didn't want anything fancy, but the perfectionist in her did want everything to be impeccable. This was a ceremony strictly to reaffirm her and Chandler's love. They were going to have it a small church on Long Island near where Monica grew up. They were able to book it for the fifth of February, which was about two months prior to their old anniversary date. The only people that were invited were Monica's parents, Ross, Carol, Susan, Ben, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, his new wife, and Chandler's mother. Monica and Chandler decided they wanted only the most special people in their lives to be included in this. After everything they had been through in the past year, they knew just how important the special people were to them.  


  
Rachel had done a wonderful job decorating the church. Rose petals were sprinkled all down the aisle. And Phoebe had gotten a ton of lilies and arranged them all around the church. And with Chandler and Monica's permission, Rachel had placed two candles by the altar in memory of Ryan and Jake.  


  
Monica looked absolutely gorgeous. Her dress was simple, but Chandler couldn't remember a time when he had ever seen her look more beautiful. Ross smiled when he saw Chandler's reaction to Monica. He still somehow couldn't believe that his best friend and little sister had fallen in love, but now he was happy that they had. He knew just by the look on Chandler's face that he loved Monica more than anything in the world.  


  
Monica's father led her down the aisle to the love of her life, who had been waiting patiently to take her hands in his. Jack gave Chandler a hug after "giving away" his daughter for the second time. Monica and Chandler were now standing facing each other, and Monica's eyes were already filling with tears. Chandler took his thumb and gently wiped away one of her tears. He smiled at her, hoping she would be able to get through the ceremony without breaking down. But when he smiled, she returned a smile of her own.  


  
The minister stepped down and looked at the happy couple. "On behalf of Chandler and Monica, I would like to thank you all for coming. They have each written their own vows. And Chandler would like to start."  


  
Chandler took a deep breath. He hadn't planned on being nervous doing this, but he was. He took Monica's hands and looked deep into her eyes. "I love you. I love you more than anything, you know that right. Mon, when you married me, you made my biggest dream come true. And you have made happier than I have ever been. We are going to have a wonderful life together. And we both know that you can't predict the future, but I want you to know that I can't imagine mine without you in it. And I promise you that I am going to take care of you through good times and bad. And I am going to do my best to make you laugh at least once a day. We are going to grow old together. I give you all I have, all I am, and all I ever will be. Because without you I'm not anyone. When we are together my life is complete. So, wherever we are, as long as we are together--that's home."  


  
Monica held onto to Chandler's hands and smiled through her tears. "I love you Chandler. And thanks to you I know what love is. Its been standing right by me practically my whole life. Sometimes standing so close, I couldn't see you. But I see you now. My eyes are wide open. I see the man I have been looking for. A man that accepts me the way that I am. Doesn't try to change me. Just to help me be myself in so many better ways. I promise you that this is only the beginning of all the happiness we are going to share. So, I cannot promise to laugh at all your jokes, but I promise to listen to them all. And I share everything that I am with you--today, tomorrow, forever."  


  
Chandler listened to Monica's words and felt so touched by them. She had never told him any of those things before and they meant more to him than she knew. They kissed passionately, as everyone clapped for them. Monica could not remember a time when she had loved Chandler more. She never wanted to let him go.  


  
They had decided not to have a reception. Monica was really tired, and Chandler knew she just wanted to get home. Working on the ceremony the last few weeks had really exhausted her. And now that is was over, they were both eager to get home and just take it easy.  


  
Monica was quiet the whole way home. Chandler was worried something was bothering her, but he didn't want to push her. He knew if there was something wrong, she would tell him when she was ready. But he didn't like seeing her upset. He couldn't help but wonder if she was having second thoughts about them. He hated doubting her more than anything, but this was one insecurity he couldn't get over now matter how hard he tried. Maybe she was just tired. It could be as simple as that.  


  
When they got to the apartment, Monica headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face and get ready for bed. Chandler was starting to get really nervous. Monica was acting so weird. What was wrong? Had he done or said something to upset her? Everything had been perfect at the ceremony, then suddenly it was as if something happened. He went into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. He was debating about what to do. Suddenly Monica appeared in the doorway. She could tell he was deep in thought. She knew he was worrying and she hated doing that to him. She went over to the bed and sat down beside him.  


  
He turned to look at her. "Mon…"  


  
"Shhh." She told him, as she put her index finger up to his lips.  


  
"Mon, I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"  


  
"That depends."  


  
"On what?" He asked, still concerned.  


  
"That depends on what you think of something I have to tell you."  


  
"What is it?"  


  
Monica closed her eyes. She grabbed hold of Chandler's hand. "Chandler, I'm pregnant."  


  
  
  



	8. Part 8

The One With The Worst Fears   
Part 8 

Okay, finally part 8!! I've decided to give a short recap just in case its been too long since I posted the last part! Chandler & Monica have been married for 6 years - its 2006. On their 5th wedding anniversary, Monica was in a car accident that killed their two young sons. They split up for awhile and now they're back together again and just renewed their wedding vows. Monica has just told Chandler she is pregnant again. 

Chandler couldn't believe what he was hearing. Monica was actually pregnant again. A million emotions ran through his mind, but his first instinct was to hug and kiss his wife. 

"Oh Mon, this is great news. This is the best wedding present I could have ever asked for." He told her as he held her tightly, and kissed her head. He looked deep into her eyes and placed his hands on her face. She had tears in her eyes, and Chandler wondered if she was happy or sad. "It is good news, isn't it?" He asked, this time more concerned. 

Monica smiled, leaning in to kiss Chandler on the lips. "It's just so unexpected. I mean we haven't talked about having a baby since we've been back together." Monica stood up and walked into the living room, and looked out of the window. Chandler walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. 

"When did you find out?" he asked her, almost in a whisper.

"A couple of weeks ago." She replied.

"Why didn't you tell me before now?" 

She turned and looked at him. "I guess I just needed some time for it to sink in. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I hope you're not angry with me." 

Chandler smiled and brushed some hair out of Monica's eyes. "Never." He pulled her close to him. "Are you okay with this? Is that the reason you didn't tell me sooner? Tell me the truth, honey."

Monica rested her head on Chandler's chest and put her arms around his waist, as if trying to avoid eye contact. "At first I didn't think this was something I wanted." She paused, knowing how much hearing this was hurting Chandler. "I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear." Tears were starting to form in her eyes. 

Chandler could tell Monica was getting emotional, so he just continued to stroke her hair and listen to her. He couldn't be angry with her for having feelings about this. He loved her too much.

"But I started thinking this is such a precious gift. We made love at the most perfect of times, and through our love we made a baby." She lifted her head and looked up at him. "So, yes, it's good news." She told him, as she smiled through her tears.

Chandler had tears in his eyes as well. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She told him, as she kissed him softly. Chandler wrapped his arms around her and they held each other for a few minutes in silence before they headed into their bedroom.

It was after 3 in the morning, and Chandler couldn't fall asleep. He did not want to keep moving because he didn't want to disturb Monica, who appeared to be sleeping peacefully. After a few minutes of watching her closely, Chandler realized that she too was awake. It had been hard for him to detect because she was lying on her side with her back to him. He rolled over onto his side, moving closer to Monica. He kissed her shoulder softly, then gently stroked her arm, before putting his arm around her waist, resting it on her stomach.

"You okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, just thinking." She replied.

"About?"

"Everything. The fact that we're going to be parents again."

"It's going to be wonderful."

Monica rolled onto her side so she was facing Chandler. "I'm scared, Chandler."

"What are you scared of, honey?" He asked.

"That the same thing will happen again. That I'll lose the baby. Or worse, after its born that I will mess up and something will take it away from us. I don't think I could handle it."

Chandler was relieved that Monica was opening up to him about her fears. He had sensed that even though Monica wanted the baby, something was still bothering her. But he didn't want her to be worried for the rest of their lives that something was going to happen to them or their children. He wanted them to lead a happy life together.

"Sweetie, I promise you that I am going to take care of you. I won't let anything happen."

Monica smiled. She knew Chandler meant every word. "I didn't want to tell you this before, because I had convinced myself that something terrible was going to happen. I didn't want to get attached to this little life growing inside of me because I thought that no matter what I did it would be taken away. I know, it sounds stupid."

"No, it doesn't. And I have to admit, I am a little scared too. But we are going to get through this, and pretty soon we're going to have a beautiful baby."

"For the past two weeks, I just tried to convince myself that I wasn't even pregnant. I wanted it to be just the two of us again. I didn't want anything to change. But then after our ceremony tonight, I listened to your vows and I just knew I had to tell you. I knew that this is what was meant to be." 

"We have two guardian angels looking down on us. And this little one is going to be protected."

Monica smiled at the thought and leaned in to give Chandler a sweet peck on the lips. She was starting to feel better. She wished she had just told Chandler as soon as she had found out about the baby because he always made her feel better. Maybe everything would really be okay. It sounded so easy. After all of the tragedy they had been through in the last year, they really deserved to be happy. And this could be exactly what they needed to begin.

"I want this baby more than anything. There I said it." She smiled.

"And so do I." Chandler said as Monica snuggled closer to him. They were soon fast asleep in each other's arms, and content feeling very secure about their future.

The next morning, they woke up just as they had fallen asleep, with Monica in Chandler's arms. 

"Mmmm. This feels so nice I don't want to get out of bed." She told him, kissing him good morning.

"Well, it is Sunday. So we could just spend the day in bed." Chandler said, smiling suggestively.

"That would be so hard to resist, if I didn't feel like I was going to be sick." She told him, with a half-smile. 

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yep. I hopefully only have to put up with this for another month." She told him.

"Why don't you stay right here, and let me take care of you today." He said, as he kissed her on the forehead.

She smiled and watched him as he put his robe on. He was so amazing, and there was not one thing he would not do for her. As she continued to watch him, the phone rang.

"I'll get that, honey. You just relax." Chandler told her. He walked in the living room and attempted to answer the phone. Before he could, Monica ran into the living room and grabbed the it from him. It continued to ring. 

"What are you doing?" Chandler asked her. 

"I just wanted to tell you not to tell whoever it is our big news. I was thinking we could have everyone over for dinner tomorrow.." Monica started.

Chandler grabbed the phone. "Okay, well if I don't answer soon, they're going to hang up." He turned the phone on and continued, "Hello?" 

"Hey man. I hope I didn't wake you. I know you and Mon probably had an exciting night last night." It was Joey, and he was laughing at the thought of his statement.

Chandler snickered as well. "No, we're awake. What's going on?" 

"Well, Kelly and I are heading back to L.A. on Tuesday morning so I wanted to ask if you and Monica wanted to have dinner tomorrow night." 

"Joey, its Sunday morning. Why are you asking me now?" Chandler asked.

"Oh, yeah. Well I didn't know if you had plans. Tonight Kelly and I are meeting some of her other friends. And I wanted to make sure we got to hang out before I leave."

"Yeah that sounds great, Joe. Actually Monica and I were planning to have everyone over tomorrow night. So around seven?" 

"Okay, we will see you then. Bye." Joey replied.

"Bye." Chandler hung up and looked around the room for Monica. Moments later she entered from the bathroom, obviously just having been sick.

"This from the woman who wants a big dinner tomorrow night? You sure that's such a good idea?" 

"It's morning sickness, Chandler. Only happens in the morning." She said, trying to be cute. It worked. He walked over to her and pulled her close to him.

"By the way, my first doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon. Do you think you can take off work and come with me?" She asked him.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss that for anything."

"Good." Monica smiled.

They spent the rest of the day just relaxing and watching movies together. It was just like when Chandler had lived across the hall and they were just best friends. It felt so much better being best friends that were married and in love with each other. She couldn't believe it had taken her so long to realize what a great match Chandler was for her. After they finished watching the third movie, Monica decided to call the rest of the gang and invite them over for the following night's dinner. She was hoping she wouldn't blurt out she was pregnant and ruin the whole thing, but she managed to pull it off without a hitch and now it was all set; everyone would be there tomorrow night at seven o'clock. 

The next afternoon, Chandler and Monica arrived at her doctor's appointment. Monica was a little nervous because this was her first ultrasound. Reality was setting in for her again. She was having a baby in about seven months. She put on the appropriate gown and sat on the little table waiting for the doctor to come in. She didn't have to wait long.

"Hi, Monica." Dr. Hill said, as she walked into the room, followed by a nurse. 

"Hi, Doctor." Monica replied. "I don't think you have met my husband, Chandler." 

"No, hi Chandler. I'm glad you could be here today with Monica."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." Chandler said, as he smiled at Monica. 

"Okay, so we're going to do the ultrasound." Dr. Hill told them. "How have you been feeling?"

"I've been great. Just a little nauseous, but other than that fine."

"Good. Okay, let's take a look." The doctor said, as she turned on the ultrasound monitor.

Monica was getting more nervous, so she reached up for Chandler's hand. "Chandler.."

"Everything is going to be fine, honey. Just fine." He told her, squeezing her hand a bit.

The doctor rubbed some jelly on Monica's stomach, followed by the little device she started to run over as well. A few moments later, she pointed to the monitor.

"You see that? That's your baby."

Chandler and Monica both looked in awe at the screen. Neither one could really believe it. 

"So everything looks good?" Monica asked, trying not to get emotional.

"Yes, so far so good." The doctor paused, and a confused look came over her face. "Let's see what's going on in there."

Monica's heart dropped. She looked at Chandler, then the doctor. "What is it? Is there something wrong with the baby?" 

Dr. Hill pointed to the screen. "You see that? That's your baby." Chandler and Monica nodded. "And you see this?" The doctor said pointing to another place on the screen. "That's your other baby." 

"What?!" Chandler and Monica said in unison. 

"You're having twins." The doctor happily exclaimed. "Congratulations."

"Twins? I can't believe it." Monica replied, totally shocked. 

Chandler leaned in a kissed Monica on the cheek, excitedly. "This is the greatest news." 


	9. Part 9

The One With The Worst Fears   
Part 9 

"Twins?!" Rachel exclaimed after Chandler and Monica had made their announcement that night after dinner. She excitedly ran around the table and hugged her two friends, as the rest of the gang happily made their way over to kiss and hug the parents-to-be. 

Ross hugged his little sister tightly and kissed her head. "I am so happy for you," he told her sincerely. Monica smiled up at him. "Thanks." Chandler watched them and thought about the fact that he and Monica were so lucky to have such great friends. He couldn't imagine sharing this moment with anyone else other than their closest friends. 

"This is so exciting," Phoebe said to Monica. "I always knew you were going to have twins. I just had a feeling about it." 

Monica smiled and looked over at Chandler, who was trying not to laugh. 

"Do you know what you're having yet?" Joey asked them. 

The group walked into the living area and sat down in their respective places. Chandler, Monica and Rachel all on the couch. Joey and his wife, Kelly, in the barca lounger, and Phoebe and Ross on the floor by the coffee table. 

"Actually, it was too early to tell, but Chandler and I decided we want it to be a surprise." Monica told them, as she leaned her head on Chandler's shoulder. He kissed her cheek, then put his arm around her and laced his fingers through her's with his free hand. 

"That's so sweet." Rachel replied as she looked at them. 

"And we're so happy to be able to share this news with our best and closest friends." Chandler said. "Especially since Joey and Kelly could be here too." 

"Thanks you guys," Kelly smiled. "Joey and I are really happy for you." 

"Yeah, happy you hooked up on our wedding night." Joey laughed. 

"Joey!" Rachel exclaimed. 

Monica laughed. "Well, I guess technically he is right." 

"See!" Joey said to Rachel. 

An hour later, everyone left and Chandler helped Monica finish cleaning up the kitchen. Monica was pretty exhausted, and couldn't wait to crawl into bed with Chandler. Things were finally beginning to fall into place for them again, and in a few months they were going to be parents once more. She was really warming up to the idea of becoming a mother again, and even though she still had some fears, all she had to do was look at Chandler and she would feel better again. 

Chandler was drying a pot and noticed she was starting at him and smiling. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked her. 

She walked over to him and hugged him, resting her head on his chest. "No, I was just thinking about how much I love you." 

He put the pot on the counter and wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. "I love you too." 

"I was also thinking about what Joey said." She continued. 

"Refresh my memory." Chandler replied, as he began to stroke her hair gently. 

"You know about us getting together on his wedding night," she laughed a little before continuing, "if we hadn't, we wouldn't be having these precious little babies." 

Chandler held her even more tightly to him. "Actually, it was the day after his wedding, but who's counting? All I know is that I was never happier than in that moment. It's something I'll never forget, Mon." 

"Me either." She looked up at him, took his hand in hers and smiled. "Let's call it a night, Bing." 

No verbal response was necessary. He looked at her lovingly and let her lead him toward their bedroom. Before reaching their room, she flipped the light switch off and closed their door behind them. 

****** 

The next five months seemed to just fly by. It was already August and Monica was almost eight months pregnant. She was feeling great, and considering she was having twins, she looked wonderful. She thought she looked like the size of a house, but Chandler made her still feel beautiful even though she couldn't even see her feet anymore. He was always doing nice things for her, like cooking dinner or bringing home flowers after work. She was more in love with him than she ever had been, and the feeling was mutual. Chandler couldn't wait for the babies to be born because he knew that would make their family complete again. He would have been happy if he and Monica never had anymore children. After Monica had told him she didn't want anymore children during the therapy session, he hadn't understood how she couldn't want more kids, but during their time apart he started to realize why she had fears. Monica, like Chandler, was very happy they were about to become parents again and all of her fears of something bad happening had subsided. She just wanted her twins to be healthy and happy. 

Monica and Rachel were sitting in the apartment after having spent the day looking around the city for cute things to put in the nursery. Of course, they hadn't managed to find anything that Monica liked. They were both exhausted from all of their walking. As Monica sat on the couch, propping up her feet, Rachel made them each a cup of tea, then joined Monica in the living room. 

"You know, its not that easy to decorate when we don't know if its for two boys, two girls, or a boy and a girl." Rachel told her, as she set her cup on the coffee table. 

Monica laughed. "Its been very tempting, but Chandler and I really want to be surprised." 

"Ahhh! Come on, I can't take the suspense! You should call your doctor and find out right now!" Rachel exclaimed. 

"There is only like a month left. Plus we don't want any of that pink and blue stuff anyway. We want something fun. You know like orange walls, or clouds or something." Monica pointed out. 

"Yeah, I like that. Actually you know what, Ralph Lauren has the cutest little animal print baby stuff. I can bring some by this week if you want. We really need to get the nursery ready." 

"That would be great. Thanks." Monica smiled. 

"Have you decided on any names yet?" Rachel asked, picking up a baby name book. 

"Well, I am picking one and Chandler's picking one. And we're not telling the names we picked until they're born." 

Rachel smiled. "That is too cute. So what names have you picked?" 

"Nuh-uh. Not telling. Chandler gets to hear it first." 

"Come on! I'm your bestfriend!" Rachel replied. 

"Yeah, my bestfriend who has the biggest mouth!" Monica laughed. "You'll find out soon enough. I have the best names picked out." 

"So one for a girl and one for a boy?" Rachel asked, not giving up just yet. 

"Yep." 

"What if you guys pick the same names? Maybe you should each tell me the names you picked so I can tell you if they're the same." 

"Its not going to work, Rach. You will just have to wait like the rest of the group." 

"Fine! You are no fun at all." Rachel sighed, as she crossed her arms. Monica laughed and began to read the newspaper. 

"Ohh, listen to this." Monica said, sounding a little upset. 

"What?" 

"There is this chef convention next month in Boston that I've always wanted to go to. They usually have it overseas every year. Of course the one year they have it here I can't even go. Unless.." she started, getting her hopes up a little. 

"Chandler would never go for it." 

"Oh, who says! He might.." Monica replied, as Chandler walked in. 

"He might what?" Chandler asked, assuming she was talking about him. He walked over to his wife, sat down next to her the couch and planted a kiss on her lips. 

"Well, its just that there is this chef convention next month in Boston…." 

"Absolutely not!" Chandler butted in before she could even finish. 

"Why not?" 

"Mon, you're going to be ready to give birth. And the doctors even said that with twins the chances of going into labor prematurely is higher than with just one baby." 

Monica sighed. "You're right." 

"There will be other chances for you to go another time. Just not when you're about the have two babies." 

"I know." Monica agreed. She managed to pull herself up, with a little help from Chandler. "I'm going to take a nap. I'm pretty tired. Rach, thanks for going with me today." 

"No problem!" Rachel replied, as she and Chandler watched Monica walk into the bedroom. "We need to do something to cheer her up. Is there anyway you guys can go to Boston?" 

"I just don't think its a good idea." 

"Well, maybe we can decorate the nursery and surprise her." 

"Now that I think is a good idea. But where do we start?" 

Rachel smiled. "You just leave that all up to me. By the end of the week you will have the best looking nursery on this side of the Hudson River." 

Chandler looked at Rachel awkwardly. 

"Oh, whatever!" She said knowing she made no sense. She stood up and headed over to the front door, then stopped. "Hey, Chandler, what names do you have picked out for the twins?" 

He looked at her and shook his head. 

"Damn it!" She said, before leaving. 

Chandler and Rachel, with the help of Phoebe spent the next couple of weeks getting everything together for the surprise nursery. Even though Monica was perfectly healthy, the doctor had told her to spend as much time as she could resting because they didn't want to risk her going into premature labor. So while Monica was sleeping, the three would get together and make plans for who would do what. Phoebe had found the perfect store that sold hand made furniture. Chandler picked out two white wooden cribs, a white rocking chair, a changing table mirror and dresser that all matched. Rachel found beautiful orange and white gingham material for curtains, blankets, and sheets for the cribs. One of Phoebe's friends, who was an artist, also offered to paint animals on the wall for them. He drew giraffes, elephants, tigers, lions and monkeys, which made the room complete. Now all it needed was two sleeping babies. Three weeks after they had started their project, the three stood in the room and smiled at their accomplishment. 

"I think she's going to love it. Thank you guys so much." Chandler told them, as they walked toward to the doorway continuing to look around the room. 

"I only wish my own room had looked this good." Rachel commented. 

Monica walked out of her room and noticed the three of them. "What are you guys doing?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. 

The three immediately jumped into the living room, quickly closing the door behind them. 

"Nothing," Chandler replied, sounding very guilty. 

"What's going on?" Monica asked, seeing right through him. 

Rachel and Phoebe looked at Chandler. He walked over to Monica and took her hand. "We have something to show you. Its a little surprise we've been working on." 

"What is it?" Monica asked. 

"You'll see." Phoebe smiled, as she walked over to the door and opened it. 

Monica stood in the doorway of the most beautiful nursery she had ever seen. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. "I can't believe you did this. It looks so amazing." She turned to Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe and gave them each a hug. "I mean, how did you manage to do all of this?" 

"A little here and there, while you were resting up." Rachel told her. "Are you sure you like it? We can change anything you want." 

"No, I love it. Its so perfect. Thank you guys so much." She smiled, and leaned in and kissed Chandler on the cheek, then put her arm around his waist. Suddenly a weird expression came over her face, and she placed her hands on her stomach. 

"What is it?" Chandler asked her, getting nervous. 

"I think its time." Monica replied. 

"Whaaat?" Chandler exclaimed, starting to get a little panicked. 

"Don't worry, it's not too early." Monica reassured him. "Rachel can you run into our room and grab my bag? Phoebe please call a cab." 

The girls ran in opposite directions, and Monica helped Chandler sit down on the couch. 

"Are you okay?" She asked him. 

"Yeah, you?" 

"So far so good." She laughed as she watched Chandler trying to catch his breath. "Chandler, I'm the one whose going into labor here. Okay, I'm going to need your help, so you have to be okay." 

"I am, just a little shocked all of a sudden at how fast these nine months flew by." He took a deep breath and composed himself, as Phoebe and Rachel both ran back to Monica's side. 

"Cab is on the way." Phoebe reported. 

"And I've got your bag." Rachel told her. 

"Okay, let's go have these babies!" Chandler smiled, as he stood up and took Monica's hand. 

**** 

"The position of the babies look good. I think we can do this naturally, Monica. You still have the option of a C-section, but it would be better for the babies to be born naturally." The doctor told Monica after checking the read-out of the sonogram. 

"Yes, I definitely want to do this naturally." Monica said, through a contraction, as she clutched onto Chandler's hand tightly. 

Wincing in pain as she released his hand, he replied, "Are you sure you want to do that, honey?" 

"Yeah," she told him, a little out of breath. 

"Okay, you're at eight centimeters." The doctor told them. "I'll be back in a few minutes to check on your progress." The doctor exited, leaving Chandler and Monica alone together. He took the opportunity to tell her how great she was doing. 

"In no time we're going to be holding our babies." He said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek tenderly. 

Monica smiled up at him as he placed a cool rag on her forehead. "I can't wait until they get here." 

Chandler removed the rag and kissed her forehead and then after placing the rag back again, he kissed her cheek softly again. "I love you." 

She was about to reply, when she was struck with another contraction. "Oww. This one really hurts. I feel like I need to push." 

"I'm going to get the doctor." Chandler told her, and was practically out the door before he had finished his sentence. A moment later, he was back with a nurse and the doctor was not far behind. "She said she needs to push." Chandler explained to them. Monica smiled up at him, even through her pain, and thought about how cute he was to be so concerned for her well-being. In the meantime, the doctor had checked Monica and agreed that it was time to start pushing. Chandler took his place next to Monica and helped her to sit up a little before grabbing hold of her hand and placing his other hand behind her neck. 

The doctor instructed Monica to give him a little push and she did as she was told. "Okay, we already have a head," the doctor stated. 

Monica looked up at Chandler and they smiled at each other. "I can't believe it." Monica said to him, through tears. Chandler was starting to get emotional as well. Monica pushed again and a moment later, the first baby was born. 

"It's a girl." The doctor told them, as he held the baby up who was already crying very loudly. 

"It's a girl. I have a daughter! We have a daughter!" Chandler exclaimed as he kissed Monica on the cheek, who was just speechless. 

"Congratulations." The doctor smiled. "Now one down, one more to go. Okay Monica, I think we can do this one with just one or two pushes because the other baby is already coming." 

"Okay," Monica replied. "I'm ready." 

A couple of pushes later, the cries of a second baby were heard. "You have another daughter." The doctor told them. 

"Two girls! We have twin girls!" Monica happily exclaimed as she pulled Chandler close to her. 

"Oh thank you, thank you so much. I love you." Chandler told her as he pressed his cheek next to hers. 

"I love you too." Monica smiled. 

Two nurses brought over their babies, who were wrapped in pink blankets and had little pink caps on their heads. Chandler held one, and Monica the other. 

"They're perfect." Monica said, as her eyes filled with tears again. 

"Yes, they are." Chandler agreed. 

A few minutes later, the nurses took the girls to the nursery and Chandler stayed with Monica until she feel asleep. The he went into the waiting room to see everyone. By now Monica's parents were there, and of course Ross, Rachel and Phoebe. 

"How is she?" Judy asked. 

"She is great. She's sleeping." 

"We saw the girls. They are beautiful." Rachel smiled, as she gave Chandler a hug. "I can't wait to see Monica." 

"You guys can all see her as soon as she wakes up. I thought she needed to rest up a little." 

"Of course." Judy said, as she gave Chandler a hug as well. "We're very delighted you are married to our daughter. You've made her so happy." 

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." Chandler told her. 

A little while later, Monica woke up to find Chandler sitting right beside of her holding both of their daughters in his arms. She smiled at the sight of her family. 

"And there is mommy." He said to the girls. "She is awake now." 

"Hi." Monica said. "How long was I asleep?" 

"Not too long. But long enough for me to miss you." Chandler replied, as he placed the babies in her arms. 

"Awww. They are so little." 

"I know. And they are beautiful. Just like their mother." 

"Like their father." Monica said as he lovingly kissed her forehead. 

"There is one matter of business we need to discuss." He smiled. 

"You mean their names." Monica smiled. 

"Yep. Now we get to reveal the names we picked." 

"Okay, you go first." 

"Alright. So its for the first born, which is this one right here," he said pointing to the baby in Monica's right arm, "Brittany Madison Bing." 

"Oh, Chandler, that is so beautiful." Monica told him, as she looked down at the baby and smiled. 

"Brittany because, well we fell in love in Britain. And Madison because I know how much you and Rachel love to shop on Madison Avenue." He laughed. 

"I love you so much. And I love the name." 

"Me too. Okay, your turn." 

"Okay, so baby number two. Mandeline {author's note: pronounced Manda-lyn} Claire Bing. We can call her Mandie for short." 

"Mon, that is so cute. How'd you come up with that?" 

"Its like a combination of our names. And you know, she's a combination of us." 

"Its perfect." Chandler smiled, as he kissed Monica on the lips. "Okay, now I am going to get the others so we can introduce them to the newest Bing members." He left and returned shortly with the gang. 

Rachel smiled and ran over to see Monica and the girls, followed by Phoebe and Judy. Ross, Jack and Chandler followed them over to the bed. 

"We would like to formally introduce you to Brittany and Mandeline Bing." Monica told him. 

"Awwww. Those names are so cute!" Rachel exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "Now I am glad I waited. Its so much better finding them out this way." 

"They really are great names," Ross and Phoebe agreed. 

Chandler sat on the edge of the bed next to his wife and daughters, and was absolutely beaming. He couldn't imagine his life getting any better than this. 

CUT TO SIX YEARS LATER: 

"Mandie, Brit please come in here!" Rachel called from an unfamiliar kitchen. 

"What are they up to?" Phoebe, who was sitting at the table, asked her. 

"I think they are playing dress up." Rachel replied, as she continued to stir something in a pot on the stove. 

"I still can't get used to this place. I mean even though Chandler got that huge promotion at work, I never pictured them moving into an elegant penthouse like this." Phoebe laughed. 

"I know, but they've been here for three years now. I'm used to it, I think it suits them. Especially since the other place was getting too small for them." 

"True, plus they wanted to stay in the city, so where else could they have moved?" Phoebe replied. 

A few moments later, a little girl, a spitting image of Monica, appeared in the kitchen. Her hair was long and black like her mother's, and at the moment up in a ponytail. Her eyes were a beautiful light blue, and when she smiled after noticing Phoebe sitting at the table, her two dimples appeared in the same exact places as her mother's. 

"Brit, where is your sister?" Rachel asked her. "Your mom and dad will be here any minute." 

"She is in our room. Mandie!!" Brittany yelled. Shortly there after, another little girl came running into the kitchen carrying a doll. She, unlike her fraternal twin sister, had shoulder length light brown hair that she was wearing in two braids. Her eyes were light blue and beautiful like her sister's, and looked just like their father. 

"What?" Mandie asked. 

"Mom and dad will be here any minute," Brittany informed her. 

"I just about have dinner ready. Mandie I need you to help Phoebe set the table for me and Brittany, please go wake up your sister. She was watching TV and fell asleep and its time for her to get up." 

Brittany sighed and headed into the game room. She returned a few minutes later, with a little girl, about age two whose hair was messy from her nap, was sucking her thumb and carrying a doll of her own. She looked as if she was about to cry, not happy about being woken up from her sleep. 

Rachel held out her arms and smiled. "Come to Auntie Rachel." She said, as the little girl ran over to her and let her pick her up. Rachel sat down in a chair at the table next to Phoebe with the little girl in her lap. 

"Natalie is such a baby! And she sucks her thumb." Mandie exclaimed. 

"Am not!" Natalie replied. 

"Now be nice." Rachel told the girls. "Natalie is little and you guys are her big sisters." 

"We're home!" Chandler was heard yelling from the front door. Natalie jumped down from Rachel's lap and ran with her two sisters to greet their father. 

"Daddy!" They all yelled. 

"Shhhh." He said to them in a whisper, " Now you have to be more quiet. Remember what I told you." 

"Yes, where is mommy?" Brittany asked. 

"She and Ross are coming right now." Chandler told them, as he placed a couple of bags by the front door. 

"Here we are." Monica said smiling at her girls. Chandler walked back into the hallway and took her hand, helping her out of the elevator. Ross was behind her carrying a car seat. They all entered the apartment and Ross greeted Rachel and Phoebe. 

"Well, where is the baby?" Mandie asked. 

"Yes, can we see him?" Brittany asked.

Monica and Chandler smiled at each other and led their girls over to the couch. Chandler lifted the sleeping baby out of the car seat and placed him in Monica's arms after she sat on the couch. The twins, one on each side of Monica, smiled at the baby she was holding. Natalie sat in her father's lap and looked curiously at him.

"This is your little brother, Michael." Chandler told them.

"He is little." Natalie told her daddy. 

Chandler smiled and nodded in agreement with Natalie, as the three sisters looked over their new brother and seemed to approve. Monica and Chandler looked at each other and their expressions silently told each other how much they loved each other and their life together. Their family was now complete and nothing could ever take away their happiness. 

THE END! 

I hope you enjoyed the series! Your feedback was greatly appreciated and still is! [Email me][1] and let me know what you thought of the final part. Thanks!

   [1]: mailto:ashleestar1@yahoo.com



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